In this episode, Dan Ardebili and Tony Finbarr-Smith discuss what happens when you stop growing and learning. Spoiler Alert… It ain’t good! If a plant stops getting fed (water), what happens? It dies!
Always Be Growing & Learning! In this episode, we also dive into some other RockStar Lessons and topics that have helped Dan become successful in his own life and empire. Listen to the story of when Dan wanted to attend a mastermind he knew would help him grow his biz but didn’t have the cash to go and what he did to make it happen! And the story of how Dan thought he was just too dumb to read a book and didn’t read a book until he was in his mid-twenties. How an “F” student in school was able to write 2 Best Selling books. We also discuss some of Dan and Tony’s favorite ways of learning and growing. Plus, so much more!
Sneak Peek:
>> [02:54] Invest in yourself instead of fighting the herd for so-called deals during Black Friday
>> [07:59] The time Dan and his wife Siri Shakti sold their TV and Car Stereo equipment so they could have the cash to attend a Mastermind to help them grow their Empire.
>> [11:24] How Dan went on a Mental Cleanse by not listening to music, watch TV or movies. Instead, he fed his mind, goals, dreams and made them a reality.
>> [13:33] Why Dan and Tony prefer to listen to podcasts, audiobooks, watch YouTube videos, and other newer ways to consume content vs. books.
>> [15:08] How Dan thought he was too dumb to read a book and didn’t even start reading books until he met his wife Siri Shakti. (He was in his mid 20’s).
>> [18:26] Why some books by well-known authors are rushed and aren’t as good as other books they wrote.
>> [21:58] The story about how Dan was an F student and wrote 2 best selling books.
>> [27:17] It’s important to hire coaches, join masterminds and network with people more successful than you.
Also, comment below your Aha-Moments and any requests on what you want us to discuss on the next episode of The RockStar Entrepreneur Experience.
Be a RockStar In Your Life, And Make The World Your Stage!
Dan “RockStar In Life” Ardebili & Tony “Don’t Stop Believing” Finbarr-Smith
Transcript: (Read Time: 55 Minutes)
Tony: Ok, so hey, what’s going on fellow RockStar entrepreneurs? Tony here and with me today, as always, is my partner in crime for this here tv show, on this here Youtubes, we’ve got Dan in the house. Say, “hey,” Dan.
Tony: I just knew you were going to do that. So, a hey, Dan, what’s the topic for today?
Dan: Today is what? ABL and ABG…which stands for…I’ll let you do the honors.
Tony: [Chuckles] Always be growing, always be learning. I was trying to think of something funny for those letters, but couldn’t think of a single thing.
Dan: Yeah, wha..what would be that…always be licking?
Tony: Ha ha ha…ok. Always…
Dan: We’re talking about lollipops. C’mon, man, ya like who doesn’t like lollipops? Get your head out of the gutter.
Tony: I love me a lollipop. Always brown lemons…I don’t…I don’t know. I don’t know. It’s…it’s…I didn’t know this would be included…and I did not know this was going to be part of it. So, I plead the 5th …on this one.
Dan: Very cool.
Tony: So, let’s let’s hit the ground running.
Dan: Yeah, I was trying to move my notes around here, but something happened to ‘em. So, hopefully, I’ll be able to stay on topic here this time. Ah, but, yeah..I mean I definitely…we talked about like wha what can we talk about on a this session and I think the always be growing and always be learning is something that a everybody should definitely be listening to right now…especially with the holidays coming up here in the U.S. We have Thanksgiving coming up and a, yeah, with the Thanksgiving, ya know, what comes along with Thanksgiving? Do you guys, well, you guys don’t do Thanksgiving do you. What do you guys do?
Tony: A…we we we just have Black Friday sales, which is…we’ve inherited from you guys. And…
Dan: Very good…that’s what I was gonna ask.
Tony: Yeah, we we get the Black Friday sales…that’s literally the last three-four years that’s been a big thing here. Um and a interesting statistic…something like 60-plus percent of purchases in Black Friday sales, at least here, um have not cost more six months before or six months after. So so what they’re saying is 60-plus percent of the things purchased in Black Friday sales…there’s no savings to be made, but people just get crazy…they get giddy crazy.
Dan: Yeah, well that’s…well, the first thing I wanted to mention was if you’re not growing, what happens?
Tony: Oh…if you’re not growing, you’re dying. There’s…I think there’s no such thing as maintaining. You’re either getting better or you’re getting worse.
Dan: Yeah, you grab a plant, right?
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: Well, this plant’s dead because it’s not alive anyway, so it doesn’t matter. [Chuckles]. I’ve got some live plants over here, but I don’t feel like pulling up a big, big tree or anything like that. But, you know, if a tree is not growing, then it’s dying. It doesn’t just like take a break and just pause, right?
Tony: Yeah, absolutely.
Dan: So, same thing goes for us. If you’re not constantly growing and learning and and, you know, and bringing in new new information and learning new skills and doing things like that and bettering yourself, then you’re dying. You know, you’re not getting the nutrients that you need…that your brain needs and that’s what I was kinda tying it back in to the Black Friday. You know, for us, Thanksgiving and then Black Friday, where everybody goes out and tries to get all these crazy deals and spending all this money and fighting over all these deals, but…I want to, you know, kind of kind of like like for myself and I don’t know about for you Tony…because we never talked about this together, but for myself a for years I actually didn’t go out to Black Friday or anything like that. Instead, especially when I had all these aspirations and all these things I wanted to do in my life, um I saved that money and, instead of going out there and fighting for all these sales and these deals, I would actually reinvest that into myself and into my my betterment of myself for me to learn more…a…for me to learn business tactics, self-development tactics, hiring coaches and doing that stuff. I mean, heck, for Christmas a my parents looked at me like I was crazy because we were having Christmas in my parents’ house…ah…my my kids were young, you know, at the time. I think I only had one child at the time, Kaleen, and a she was little and, of course, she got toys and stuff like that. A…but for my wife, I gave her a big box…so she had all these different boxes to open up and they were actually tapes and cds, you know, on self-development and sales and and, you know, all these different strategies. And my parents were like looking at me like like I’m crazy and looking at us like I was crazy, but my wife was like, “oh…I…I wanted this one! Yeah, this is awesome! I can’t wait to listen to it!” My parents were like…what the heck…what’s goin…what’s wrong with you guys? You know. While everybody else is giving like jewelry and all these other little like…the stuff, the stuff that is gonna to be used possibly…um…or, it’s just gonna be shoved in the back of the closet, or at the next garage sale, or, you know, a hand-me-down, or a re-gift…right, people love doing that as well. And a…and, you know, we weren’t doing that. So, I wanna tell you guys out there, you know, hey, think about, you know, do I really need this stuff that I’m going out there to fight about…to fight over for, you know, for a flat screen tv that this company discounted for a specific reason just to get rid of it…cause they had overstock or they just wanted to get you into the store so you’ll buy other stuff that aren’t really a great deal? And, you know what I mean, so what? You saved $200…$500 on a tv. Well, if you re-invest that money…cause this is how I saw it, if I re-invested that money back into myself and into, you know, my wife and for us to learn and grow more…then, and also, you know, my business today…if I re-invested that into my business people ask me like are you gonna go to holiday shopping Black Friday and I’m like, “no, I don’t need to.” You know what I mean, it’s great to save a little bit of money, but I don’t need to. I’d rather be working on myself and investing in myself and, then, I can buy all the stuff I want and it’s not “oh…I’m gonna get this because it’s on discount,” right, instead I can just buy the one that I want or I can buy it from wherever I want…I can buy it on Amazon, I can buy it off of another website. I don’t have to buy the one just because they’re saying, “hey, you can come buy it at this time.”
Tony: I was just looking, as you were saying that. I was looking over there at my bookshelf, looking if I could see a Robert Cialdini’s “Influence,” where he talks about scarcity and I think that’s a huge driving factor about these a Black Friday sales. And, if you…if you just take a step back and think, like you said, they’re discounting them for a reason, whether that’s just to get you in the store or because there’s a newer version coming out, or something like that, I think the discounts they tend to stay, don’t they? Apart from the really, really crazy ones.
Dan: Yeah. Tony: So, if you just disconnect yourself from that whole Black Friday scarcity and then and then just come back to what you’re saying…like, do I even really need this thing? I think that’s that’s a lot of it, isn’t it? We get wrapped up in the hype of it all…when, in reality, do you really need it? And…what could you be doing better with that money, like you said.
Dan: Exactly. Yeah. I’ll give you another example. I remember…um…and this is when I made this shift in myself because I wanted to be successful. Um, I remember a there was this mastermind…this event, this workshop mastermind coming up and it was like…I think it was like $2,000…it was either $1,500 or two grand, or something like that. And…that number, and for some of you that number is astronomical, you’re like “Whoa! Like, I can’t afford that!” And, for some of you are like “Oh, I’ve, you know, heard of more expensive ones.” And, yeah, I’ve actually joined more expensive ones but, at that time, that $1,000 or $2,000 workshop mastermind might as well been $50,000 to me because I didn’t have that cash.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: And, I remember what I ended up doing was…I’m like, ok, first off I’m gonna make a decision I’mma I’mma do this. I want to attend this. Um, there was actually full disclosure with my wife that I wanted to…cause she was my partner in the business…and I knew only one of us could go and I was like, ok, I want her to go, so she could learn and then she’ll come back and tell me what she learned and, you know, it will help our business. And…um…what I ended up doing is…I looked around the house and I’m like, what could I sell. Well, I couldn’t sell my car because I needed that, right. I needed that to go do my appointments and my business that I was doing at the time. So, I was like, ok, I can’t really sell my car because that wouldn’t make much sense. Uh, but instead, what else could I sell? So, I started looking around and I’m like ok, well, I’ve got this big screen tv. And, back in those days, that big screen tv wasn’t a flat screen because we didn’t have those, right. It was…it was this a…I don’t even remember what they called them. It was like projection or something like backwards.
Tony: Rear projection?
Dan: Yeah, I don’t k…it probably was, but it was a 37 inch or a 42 inch, which was like humongous and heavy. It was probably 500 pounds. It was a Sony. I think I paid like $2,000 or $3,000 for that tv, at one point, and I was like…you know what, I’m just gonna sell this. So, I put it on Craigslist. Sold it for like, I dunno, 900 bucks or something like that. Uh, so I needed a little bit more money and then I ended up selling some old stereo equipment…car stereo equipment that I had…‘cause I used to like soup up my rides. I had like, you know, lowered car sportscars, five star rims…Viper rims, that kind of stuff. I had a big 18 inch subwoofer in the back, I had a, you know, all the amps and Earthquake amps and all the stuff and a kicker speakers, or I think at that…was it was Earthquake…I think it was Earthquake speakers and amps I had back then. And a…so, I put those for sale as well…and and my a like touchscreen, which was like, you know, the shit back then. My touchscreen a like a receiver…dvd…er, not dvd, cd player, as well receiver for the car. And…I sold all that stuff for, I dunno, maybe 500… 800, or something like that. A…so, right there was the money and I did that within a couple of days and a, you know, got my wife to go to that mastermind and had a breakthrough. And, even though it wasn’t like that was like the tipping point of everything happening, all those little things that we did…listening to the cds, to the tape series, you know, which would now be like audible or podcasts, because we didn’t have podcasts back then. So, we had to go to events, we had to buy cds, we had to buy audio books, you know a, tapes, right, we had to get tapes. We couldn’t do it on audible or something like that. And a we would just listen to those every single day, all day long. So, instead of listening to music a or instead of watching a tv, or instead of going to the movies or watching movies on tv and spending a, you know, an hour, two hour or three hours a day doing that, when we’re in the car driving, instead of listening to music, we would listen to those tapes and those cds. Um, and today, instead of that stuff, I actually read books…read books at home. So, instead, today I actually listen to podcasts um I watch Youtube videos or I listen to Youtube videos that are like podcasts video podcasts, like we’re doing right now.
Tony: Yup.
Dan: And that’s why we’re doing this. I’d rather not do video, but I’mma do it because that’s how I choose to learn my content when I’m working out…instead of listening to music. I’ll put music in our Sonos speaker, where it’s like in my workout room in my house and I’ll play music really low, but then I’ll put in my earbuds..my Apple ear pods. I’ll put those in and I’ll listen to either a podcast on Spotify or…I used to use iTunes, but now I use Spotify…or, I’ll listen to an audio book or I’ll listen, you know, to something on Youtube and learn. And…I’m doing that and that’s what I did every single day…was spend hours a either reading books, listening to audio books a, you know, today I do audible as well. A, but yeah, I would just spend hours and hours consuming all that stuff because I knew whatever I put in, a you know, enough of that would stick that it would…it would plant those seeds for me to make those shifts in my own business and my own life and then it became part of my DNA and, today, a people will ask me like “what books are you reading?” And I’m like, “I-I’m not really reading any books anymore. I-I consume content on podcasts, like I said, or on Youtube listening to stuff like that. Um, but, a lot of the stuff, you know, is things I’ve accomplished in my own life today that nobody else is talking about, right? Like we’re doing right now. [Chuckles].
Tony: Yeah. I think…um…I think books…books always get given this kind of a…they get put on a little bit higher of a bit of a pedestal…books. But, if you think about it, you know, like this conversation we’re having right now. This is live, this is fresh and um, you know, it’s either going out live to people watching it or soon after. Whereas a book, if you think about someone sits down to write it and then it gets edited, and it goes through drafts and revisions and then gets published and printed…and all of that jazz. So, stuff can go, especially in this world that we’re living in now and, especially in the circles that we’re kinda…all the ponds we’re swimming in, the the things advance so quickly. I mean, like look at Gary V’s “Crushing It!”…you know, he he doesn’t mention LinkedIn once and, now, in all of his podcasts he’s going…I should have mentioned that.
Dan: Oh TikTok, yeah. Tony: In in that he mentions Musical.ly, which is now TikTok, it’s all out-of-date so quick, so fast. I think that that audio is great for keeping up but, also, I’ve gotta say I’ve the best of intentions…and, you know, I said I was looking over there at all the books and whatnot that I’ve got and I’ve…I’ve read maybe ten percent of them. And..it’s prob…maybe more than that, but it’s always the same ones that I reread, as well. I don’t know if you have that way…you know…
Dan: Hmm. I did. I used to. Yeah, remind me, I want to bring something up about about the book format, but I wanna also mention, um like yourself, I mean um…fun fact: I never actually read a book um when I was in high school. Or, you know, maybe I like read like little children books when I was a little, little kid but, you know, like “The Cow Jumped Over the Moon” or my ABC books. Um, but, you know, as Junior High or High School or anything like that, I never read an entire book. When I would read…when I would look at a book, when I was like told I had to read a book for school or something, I would look at the pages and, as I was reading, I would forget every single thing I’m reading…as I was reading it. I would have to like mentally slap myself and focus in order to retain any words I was reading and, still, I would forget. So, I just thought that I wasn’t good at reading. So, a…when I met my wife, she loved to read and she said, “let’s go to the bookstore and let’s get some books” and I’m like, “no way, books suck,” you know. But, I wanted to grow and I was starting…at that time it was my personal training business that I was running and I’m like, “ok, well, yeah, I’ll try this.” She’s like, “just go look around and see what books you like.” So, I started walking around and I went to the Business Sales side because I had to sell in my business and I hated sales…and I found a leadership book and it was this um Malcolm Maxwell um. Was it…no, I don’t think it was Malcolm Maxwell. One of those books was one of his books…I forgot which one it was. But, there was another book, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” um…and that book was small, short short little stories and inspirational stories and I started reading it while I was there and I got captivated. I’m like, “Holy crap! This is awesome!” And I was in my early twenties and, or mid-twenties, and I was just like, “actually, I like reading now.” And…I must have read over a hundred books in the first year. Like I went freakin’ nuts! I was a sponge. I was listening to audio books, as well, but I was just going through books like crazy. Um…because there wasn’t a lot of audio books at that time, anyways, and they were more expensive…they were like fifty bucks to a hundred bucks for an audio book…and it was like, you know, ten bucks, twelve, fifteen, twenty, whatever for a regular book. And I was just reading them like crazy and I was reading them in the shops and some of them I would buy…and buy them later because I didn’t have a lot of money at that time. But, I’ve read at least, I would say, at least 85% of my books and the only reason I say 85 is because later, a couple of years ago, I had bought more books that people had recommended, I just never read ‘em…because, to get to this point, two things: one, I kind of learned that books are not my primary way for me to learn, and it never was, I just forced myself to do it because there wasn’t any other options. Um, but, today, you know, again, like I said, we have podcasts, we have Youtube, we have all these other ways that we can learn and get free and paid content. I belong to memberships, I spend hundreds of dollars a month on different kinds of memberships that I don’t even always consume every month, but it’s there for when I want to learn something. Um, learn free things on Youtube and I love doing it that way, but what I was going to bring up that that point about the books is exactly what you said. Is that two things…one, when you grab a book, you know, it took like at least six months to a year…sometimes even longer…for that book to actually come out. So, things have changed. But, also, how many other people have stepped on it. You know, what about that publisher…if it wasn’t self-published…that publisher could have said, “we don’t want you putting this in there” and, because they are paying the bills, you know, the author’s like “ok, fine.” And, then, another point I was going to bring up, that I heard not that long ago, pretty recently, was that um…when you’re an author writing your first book, there’s not as much pressure because they don’t know if it’s going to take-off anyways…as far as from the publisher. But, after you have your first successful book, the first book, then they’re like this dude’s sold millions of books or this person’s sold a million books. We need your next book to be in three months.
Tony: [Sneezing]
Dan: Bless you.
Tony: Thank you, pardon me.
Dan: We need your book to be in the next three months, right. And, then the pressure comes on and then it’s no longer a ok, am I creating a book that people need, or am I creating a book because now my publisher’s forced me to create this content that”…and that’s why I hear all the time…like, I look at cert…some big authors out there that have had some great books in the past that I go and I look at their most recent book and people are like, “Eh, it’s more of the same. Nothing really new, kinda boring.” And, that’s probably the reason why…is because they were forced to release another book because their publisher didn’t want them to not become relevant.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: Or, they gave them an advance and then they had to put out three books or something like that, within a certain amount of time. So, that’s what I love about podcasts, that’s what I love about, you know, Youtube videos is that, like we’re doing right now, I have some notes in front of me and you’ll see me look up kinda like up at the screen every now and then, so I can try to stay on topic, because my ADD will kick in and um I’ll see a squirrel, right. I’ll look at a squirrel but, you know, we can be real with this…whatever comes to us, in the moment, from the ether, you know, from the Cosmos, from the multiverse, that says, “Hey, you need to hear this…or, I need to remember this”…because a lot of the times, the stuff me and you, Tony, talk about, you know, with an audience or without an audience, reminds us of things that we should be doing or that we’ve done in the past that worked, or maybe that we wanted to try that we learned from somebody else. And…that’s what I love about this. There’s so much that can come out of it organically and and we’re not waiting six months or a year for something to be released and then it get watered down, right. For myself, I’ll bring up one last point. A, for myself, when I wrote my books, I had actually hired a publi…er, not publisher. I had self-published both my books and my wife had self-published her books as well. But, I hired um…editors and, just so you know, I’m a D- student. I should have been an F student in everything but, I guess, because of they they needed to hit their quota of graduated students and a side story here a I know I shoulda been an F student and I was like kinda testing the system, as a student, that I would not turn anything in and I would just do A, B, C, D, A, A, B, B, C, D…and I would do all my tests like that and, just to see what would happen, and I still got a D or D-and I passed all my grades. And, I’m like, what is this? How can this be? And I’m, you know, doing all this crap, right. And…and…and they’re letting me get through it, but the the point I was getting to from that little story right there was that I got a D-, or I should’ve got an F, in English. I was not good at spelling, you know. I knew the basics and we didn’t have spell checkers like we do today, right.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: A…we had to actually get a book to to look in that book…A..B..C..and look through there to find the word to see if we spelled it right. So, it wasn’t as convenient and I definitely didn’t do good in English, but I wrote two best-selling, Amazon best-selling books. How did I do that? Well, because this D-, F student hired an A+, Master’s in English person, you know, a few hundred bucks, and they edited the entire thing for me. And, what’s funny is, it came back with all these red lines of like “this isn’t natural to say it this way” and “you shouldn’t say this in a book, this is only for like talking out loud,” you put this word in here and all these other things and all this different punctuation. Um…and it was funny because I had actually hired two um editors and both of ‘em had like Master’s in these ultimate, you know, certifications and all that. And that is when I first realized that proper grammar and English and punctuation is more of a guideline than a hard fast rule…because they were actually arguing, without them even knowing each other, they were arguing different points…like use this, don’t use this. And I’m like, how can this be? And I asked one of ‘em, I was like, you know, I had someone else also look at it and they said the opposite. And they’re like, well, it could go either way, some people believe this. And I’m like, what? This is like the weirdest thing, but that’s my point, you know.
Tony: I think…I think that a…going back to something that you said earlier about reading and it not going in, so I just thought I’d mention this before I forget. I found that when I read stuff, the same happens with me and I find that I learn much, much better if I read out loud the words that I’m reading. And, I just find that it goes in a lot better. Now, that’s usually something like small children would do. You know, they would…they would like read and go: what.could.be.better.than.driving.a.supercar.of.your.choice? You know, they would read out like that. Now, for me, if I’m taking in information, I find that it just fires more of my kind of modalities, you know, my learning modes, or whatever. Um…by reading it and hearing it and actually saying it, as well, at the same time. So, that that kind of touches on why I think I prefer audio books and stuff, but I do find that my mind starts to wander. So, by kinda making my own audio book…I mean, I prefer audio books over sitting and reading because I do a lot of driving, so I find the time. Whereas making the time to sit and read just seems, you know, when you have a small child and you’ve got a household and whatever you need to do. I think a when you’re driving, you have no excuse not to. But, I do think that reading aloud helps me retain the information better, but I prefer to just listen anyway because that’s kinda like my mode…or, my learning modality. What…what say you on the topic of different learning modalities, Dan?
Dan: Yeah, it’s it’s all on the person. So, if you retain more and love reading then, yes, do more of that. Ah, but, you know, I mean, you should definitely still be listening to either podcasts or, you know, whatever it is in that field that you’re trying to learn. I would process that because if you’re trying to become a better a video editor or you’re trying to, you know, learn how to do sales better, there’s gonna be different like platforms that that content is gonna be best consumed for. So, it’s kinda a balance of what works best for you, but also depending on what that is that you’re trying to learn and where that’s being processed. Now, for me, um, like I said, I don’t really do a lot of reading, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t grab a book. But, I will google stuff and I will look stuff up online and read things. Um, I mean, heck, even before we were doing this, we were testing out some…ah…some software, right, unsuccessfully.
Tony: Yes, we were.
Dan: And…I had to like google stuff and and learn that way. And…I watched a video and I read texts and I did all these other things. Um, but for myself, like I said, I do podcasts, um I belong to a mastermind. Um…in the past, I belonged to other masterminds. Um…I invest in myself, I do networking with others, like-minded people, um I make friends with people that are actually operating at a higher level than me because, in order for you to grow…you need to be able to have people that are at a higher level than you, as well. Not just at your level or below yourself, you know, um…because that’s how you force yourself to grow and to stretch. I also have a mentor and a coach that I actually pay money to and I’ve done that for many, many years. Ah…where, you know, I would do it weekly. Sometimes I’d do it every other week. I’m back to weekly again. And…um…I mean, I’ve spent a lot of money on coaches. I mean, heck, in one year, I’ve spent over a hundred thousand dollars…like no joke. I can show you the wire transfer for a $100,000, not including trip costs and events and stuff that I did. I probably spent over $150,000 in real cash just doing those, but I got so much from it and I made so many new friends. And…that’s…
Tony: So, it was an investment…not an expense.
Dan: Yeah, it’s an investment in yourself. Yeah, and not everything is gonna be, you know, like a …a return on investment instantly. Some things that I’ve done, that I’ve spent money on, didn’t pan out. And…I can go back and complain about him and say, “oh, I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s a scam, just saying it was hyped up way more than what it was worth and I didn’t really make any money off of it.” But, you know, I got one thing from it…and sometimes that one thing might have been a compliment, or they might have turned me on to a specific piece of software or tool, or a way of doing something that I’ve continued to use today that have helped me either save time, make money, save money, or something like that. Then, it’s a win…because I’m not gonna sit there and do checks and balances and like “ok, well this worked, this didn’t work,” or anything like that because, you know, you never know when you’re gonna need something. So, I’m just gonna keep consuming and adding things to my arsenal and, when I need it, I’m gonna go get it. And, this is exactly what doctors and lawyers will do. Doctors and lawyers don’t memorize every ailment and everything there is, right. If you’re a doctor and, you know, you have a rare case from…or a case you’re not that familiar with, you’re gonna either go to your books or you’re gonna go to your colleagues, right.
Tony: Well, they…they also have their own, medical version of Google. A…at least my local doctors they do. They have a…a computer-like database that is basically a search engine for ailments.
Dan: Yeah, I’ve got to stop saying, “books” because that’s old, right?
Tony: Ha ha, yeah.
Dan: Yeah, but it’s the same point. They’ve got something they go back to…a database…because, you know, you’re not going to be able to maintain every single thing in the entire world of what ifs this and what ifs that. It’s only what you need at that particular moment…and that’s why it’s good to continue learning because you never know when you’re gonna need it and be reminded of something that maybe you’d forgotten about because you didn’t need to use it at that time.
Tony: Yeah, I think…um…one thing that you touched on there with doctors and lawyers. Where I thought you were going with that is that that in those fields…not just doctors and lawyers, you know, but other fields too…there’s a requirement that for them to keep their license, they need to do CPD, Continued Professional Development. So, um, that’s something that’s obviously…particularly with entrepreneurs…that’s something that folks neglect, without a doubt, because there’s no consequence. And…um…I wonder if…um…you know, I wonder if the doctors and the lawyers and those people…I wonder if they see that as an expense or a investment, which is what we’re talking about is, you know, continually investing in yourself. That’s that’s a small, subtle shift, isn’t it, from thinking, “oh, I have to spend this money,” like oh it’s a monthly outgoing, or whatever…to thinking, “oh, it’s an investment”? Because, what you said about going somewhere, or doing something, or investing in something and not getting an immediate return from it, well that’s looking at it as an expense, isn’t it? Which, whereas, you’re saying, “well, no, I’m sure in the long-term it’ll all be fine” because you’re coming at it with an attitude of investment and also this short-term view is also a mindset of scarcity, I suppose, isn’t it?
Dan: Yeah, well, it’s like watching a plant or a tree grow. You know, you put a little bit of water on it, ya give it some fertilizer, or whatever you need to put in there. Um…you don’t see it grow instantly, do you? Do you see it like pop up…Boom! It’s a tree! Or, Boom! It’s a plant! No, it takes so long that, if you were to stare at it every single day, you would not really see it like happening, you know. You would have to film it and speed it up in a time-lapse in order to see anything really happening, right? It’s so…so small and that’s the same thing that’s going on with us. It’s so small that you typically don’t see it and then, eventually, you become what people call “an over-night success,” right. They’re like, “Oh! Look at them! They’re an over-night success!”…and you’re like, “dude, you didn’t see all the times that I was sitting there, going through all these books, and listening to these cds and these audio programs and struggling, and, you know, digging through my couch cushion for loose change, so I’d have gas money to go to a meeting to try and make more money in my business. And, you know, borrowing money from family to the point to where they said, “get your head out of the clouds and why don’t you go get a real job?” And you’re just like, “Ahhh!,” you know, and “I’m gonna show them!” “Once I’m successful, I’m gonna show them!” I’ll tell you what, another point on that, is all these people you wanted to prove wrong. Ah, man, once you become successful, it’s just isn’t really as fun. You feel kinda humbled, you know…because, until you can feel humbled, you won’t be successful to that point to where you’ll go, “I’m gonna rub people’s faces in it.” Because that’s not what it takes to become successful. Um…I’m sure some people out there have done something where, you know, they…there’s probably a few that have gotten like over-night type success, on accident or something like that, but they’re not long to last, if they have that kind of mentality of like I’m gonna go rub everybody’s noses in it. But, I don’t have anybody telling me anymore will I get my head out of the clouds. All they do is say, “Hey, I’m proud of you,” “Hey, you’re doing great,” “Wow, that’s so cool” and then they’re, you know, talking about you and that’s great.
Tony: I think people who uh focused on “I’ll show them, I’ll rub their noses in it” kind of attitude. I wonder if they feel a massive…uh…anticlimax when they reach that…like you said, those few who do get there and they still have that urge to rub people’s noses in it. When they get there, I wonder if they then go like “Now what?” I wouldn’t like that to be me, I guess that’s what I’m saying. Not that I’m wanting to show anyone or prove anything to anyone, but I think that would be a really crappy win. I wouldn’t be happy with that, I think.
Dan: Yeah, I can’t speak for anybody else. Just for myself that…you get there and it just becomes this awareness of, consciously, you remember the things that they said and that this wouldn’t work, or anything like that. And, it did, and you don’t go back and say, “remember when…?” Or, anything like that. You just don’t…you feel like…I don’t want to say the “bigger person,” but it’s like being an adult and and your child, or a child, is like, you know, saying some dumb stuff that makes no sense…’cause children say some dumb things, like, you know, like…yeah… Like, when I was a kid, I remember thinking that cats were female and dogs were males, you know. I thought one was the masculine and one was the feminine, you know, it made sense to me. And, I probably said that to somebody and they probably looked at me like I was dumb, but mean they’re not gonna sit there be like, “Oh, you’re so stupid, you little two year-old or three year-old…you’re dumb!” You know, like an adult, maybe a kid would say that. But, an adult, that would just be really harsh. So, that’s kinda of what it kinda feels like…is that, you know. And, I was actually thinking about this earlier today and a couple of days ago, where you have all these people talking about veganism and saying, “you’re wrong, veganism is bad for you and it’s not a healthy choice,” or anything like that. “It’s not sustainable” and, you know, “you have to be careful because you’re not getting all your nutrients.” And, it’s like, it’s already getting to that point now, where socially they’ve accepted. But, there are still a couple of people holding out, that are like on this “No, you still need meat. Sure, it’s ok for you, but it’s still not the best for you.”
Tony: Yeah, I had one the other day going, “What are these for? What are these for?” Shut up.
Dan: And, it’s like, I don’t want to argue with them because it’s just not where I want to spend my time. And, it doesn’t bring me happiness to try and prove somebody wrong anymore. So, it’s just…a ok, well, I’ve got people that, yes, had told me that I was wrong, had said, you know, that veganism is dumb, or whatever, you know, or I could never give up meat, and…or dairy and, now, they do. I’ve seen it happen, firsthand, because I’ve been vegan now for, what, for almost sixteen years now…if not sixteen years. And my wife, as well, and my kids. And, yeah, and I’ve seen a lot of people change. Some people attributed said, “look, you know, something you said stuck with me and, you know, I started researching it,” or “I saw this documentary and now this was a couple of years ago,” you know. Yeah, and people change and I’m not gonna sit there and go, “Yeah, I told you so!” It’s your life, do…if you wanna to be successful…be successful. If you wanna, you know, be vegan, be vegan. I’m not gonna tell you how to run…how to live your life. You’ve gotta live with the consequences. So, you know, no matter what it is, I’m just gonna give you the information. You do with it what you want, right?
Tony: Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. Yeah, I suppose, and that applies to everything, not just veganism…’cause
Dan: Yeah, that’s my point, yeah.
Tony: …people are gonna close their ears, a lot of people, if they’re, you know, not on that train…they’re gonna go, “oh…this doesn’t apply to me.” But, it…it literally applies to everything, doesn’t it? As long as, you know, you’ve put across, you know, what you think will help that person and, assuming that they’ve kind of requested or hinted at wanting help with that, you’ve kinda put that across…you’ve done your best, I suppose, haven’t you?
Dan: Yeah, and it…it’s not to say that just because, like, you know, for instance, somebody might…actually, I’ve heard this, like, quite recently: “Oh, you shouldn’t talk about veganism…um…you know, in these a…in these entrepreneurial type, you know a, business type stuff because…because then you’re gonna turn people off,” right, “then, they’re not gonna want to listen.” And it’s like, no, dude, I’m just being me. I’m being authentic and I’m putting it out there. And, you can choose to listen to it, if you want to, or not. But, what you gotta understand is I listen to people that believe that veganism is wrong, that you know, they should eat meat and stuff like that…and I learn things from them as well when it comes to business, maybe relationships, ah maybe, you know, things like…ah…biohacking, you know like red light therapy, cold plunges. A lot of those people eat meat and that’s totally fine. I’m not gonna go say, “I’m not gonna listen to anything you say” because they have their pre-existing beliefs, or, for whatever reason, they choose, you know, to do something else. You know, I choose my mentors according to what I want to learn from them. I might have somebody that is super healthy, but they’re not married. So, obviously, I’m not gonna listen to their marital advice or their relationship advice, right? They might not have kids. Well, I’m not gonna listen to their advice on children, ok? It’s just that’s how it is.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: They might be…ah, you know, ah successful as a, you know, in the fitness industry, or something like that, but I’m not gonna listen to ‘em when it comes to marketing if they’re not a good marketer themself, right? They might just be in shape, but they might be lousy at the other stuff.
Tony: Yup.
Dan: So, you’re gotta pick and choose your mentors and kinda look at it like a menu of, well, I can learn this from this person, but not this from that person, you know? And, that’s totally fine.
Tony: Absolutely. Can say that I disagree with any of that, which is good. We don’t want conflict on here. Ah, now then, um…on the topic of…so, today’s subject is always be growing, always be learning…um…we’ve talked about…um…we’ve talked about, you know, taking in information the way that you prefer…um…and I mentioned I listen to a lot of audiobooks. That got me wondering wha…what audio books have you listened to recently? I’ve listened to a couple of good ones I’d like to share, but I’m curious where, you know, where you’ve been dedicating your [indecipherable] recently.
Dan: Sure. Why don’t you say yours and I’m gonna actually pull up mine…just so I can remember because…um…because with audible, like I have a membership and I have all these books I’m adding and I don’t…I haven’t listened to ‘em because there are so many podcasts that I’ve been listening to. And, sometimes, I’ll pop open one of the audio books and I’m just like…this one’s kinda boring…the way they’re talking. Like I like this interaction versus like, “Hi, I’m Dan and today we’re gonna be talking about how to get inspiration to get up each day and be your best self. And, our first lesson today is to always be growing,” right?
Tony: Well, there’s a lesson in itself. Before you buy the audio book, before you use that audible credit, listen to the preview. [Chuckles] Because…and I tend to read the notes, as well, because I never buy fiction on there,…ah…but I was gonna buy one which was…um…I hadn’t read in ages was “The Celestine Prophesy” and I thought, “Oh, brilliant! It’s on Audible.” And, then, I saw that it’s abridged and somebody reviewed saying that it’s…that it’s…it’s missing half of the book. So, I didn’t get that book. I’ll tell you the ones I got then. Um…so, recently, um… I listened to “Youtube Secrets” by Sean Cannell and Benji Travis.
Dan: Ok.
Tony: And, they are brilliant on Youtube. Sean and Benji are brilliant. Sean has…um…so they, together they have…I think it’s called “Video Influencers”. Um…that channel and then, also on Youtube, Sean Cannell has “Think Media” and Benji does cooking stuff. Now, they’re both brilliant…ah…on camera, very natural and all this, but I gotta say the audio book is on the verge of unlistenable. Um…at first…I’ll give it that caveat. And, the first person that you hear is a guy called “Benji” and he…and like he says…um…he talks a bit like you just did then, but the thing that stuck out to me the most was like I would say like…like…um…“pick up a cup of coffee” like, you know, if I was reading it, I would say, “pick up a cup of coffee,” right. A bit of a tongue twister there. But, you know, “you’ll receive a friendly welcome.” Ok, but he says, “you’ll receive A friendly welcome” and he emphasizes the ‘A’ and, at first, I was like what the Hell am I listening to? And that was, at first, challenging, but it’s a great book. I would recommend “Youtube Secrets”. Maybe get the book but, if not, the audio book. Sean Cannell and Benji Travis and that… that kinda gets you on the road to doing what we’re doing right now, actually. And, they talk about…a little bit about Youtube SEO and stuff…there’s nothing groundbreaking but, if you’re interested in it, ah…then that’s interesting. But, there’s a very nuts and bolts, “How to” kind of a book. So, then to kinda balance that out…I d-don’t tend not to do fiction…um, but I listened to “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert…ah…and she wrote “Eat Pray Love,” which I’ve not read or listened to. Um, but the idea of “Big Magic”…behind “Big Magic”…her idea is that…um…ideas are almost like living things and they come to you and get your attention and, if you don’t do anything with them, they go to someone else. Ah…she gives a few examples of that and…and, particularly, um…how many times you have and idea and don’t do anything with it and then somebody comes up with that exact same thing and you’re like, “that was my idea, what the Hell,” but you didn’t act on it. So, that’s…that’s “Big Magic”.
Dan: I learned that…I learned that from the yogis, that’s the collective consciousness. Um…there’s basically all this information…just like, right now, in our rooms, we have all this information being transferred all over the place and, without like our computer or our phone to decipher the…the wi-fi signal…to attach itself to whatever it is we want to look at, you know, we don’t see it.
Tony: Mmm hmm.
Dan: So, like looking around, up in the room and stuff, I don’t see all these little data points and all this stuff going on…these signals all over the place, these radio signals, satellite signals happening all around us. Um, but the information is all there and ah, you know, exactly what you just said, the collective consciousness is not like, you know, these radio waves, but they are similar, but they’re the collective consciousness, where all around us, you know, all this information is being, you know, passed along and, if you don’t take action on it, then somebody else will. Somebody else is having that thought. And, I remember, man, I’ve written this down before…I don’t have the note in front of me, so I’ll butcher the story. Um…and let me know if you’ve heard of this before too. Tony Robbins is the first person I heard talk about it.
Tony: Alright.
Dan: We talked about this island in Japan, where these monkeys were and…I can’t remember if the monkeys were starving or whatever or they were hungry or something like that…and they had learned, on one of the islands, they had learned to take the potatoes…’cause they had potatoes and the potatoes were dirty, because they were on the ground, so they didn’t eat them…but a monkey, or a few of the monkeys had learned to wash the…the potatoes off and, then, to eat them. So, all of a sudden, the neighboring islands that were like, you know, hundreds or whatever miles away from each other, you know, they had no way of communicating…so, it’s not like they grabbed an iPhone and said, “Hey, bro, here’s what I figured out,” you know. “ Check this out! Yeah, yeah, hey monkeys on this other island!” No, but all of a sudden, these other monkeys started doing the same thing and then on the next island and then it spread across. So, it was like, it’s just…it’s crazy and that was the first time that kinda stuck with me. Um…and I thought that was really cool. But, that, you know, again, it’s the collective energy. And, this is one of the reasons why, and we’ll get into this some other time, but this is why we do Kundalini Yoga…um…every single morning and we’ll do a meditation. Um…the yogis will do it like four or five in the morning, as the Sun rises…’cause that’s where the information comes and they also say that’s why you’ll dream in the early morning, as the Sun is rising is when most of your dreams will actually happen. And, when you’re awake, you’re able to take in that information and process it…ah…by doing the yoga and doin’ the, you know, and meditation. And, that why we do that every morning. I don’t get up, my wife does…she gets up like at four or five and does it. I used to do it. Now, I get up like at seven and I’ll do it about 7:30. Um, eventually, I will start getting up early again. But, that’s why we do it. It’s so I can take that in and then I’m constantly just writing down ideas and notes and some things.
Tony: Do you download?
Dan: Yeah, some things I’ll never use, but I will tell you…before I started doing Kundalini Yoga, um…and…and doing meditation with it, you know, this is all part of the Kundalini practice. Before doing that, I was a mess. Like, my head was going, “bwwbwwbww”…it was, like, all over the place. Like, basically, if…if my brain was a computer, it was…it was like spam and overlays and pop-ups popping up all over the place and flashing all over the place.
Tony: A thousand browser tabs open.
Dan: Yes, that’s how my brain worked. I had absolutely no control, whatsoever. And, today, I have…I wouldn’t say I have control, I have like tamed the wild horse…um, but, you know, it’s still does its thing, but I am definitely focused and getting this information downloaded and putting it on paper, putting it in Evernote, Google Docs, Trello. I’m putting it all over the place. And, you know, that’s why we’re having this conversation today. It’s one of the things that came to me. Hey, let’s talk about this. [Chuckles].
Tony: I do…I do wonder how much of that is also to do with having some kind of an end goal in mind. The…the idea of…ah…being more focused and…and…and all of that. Do you think you would have done that if you didn’t have goals? That’s just what popped in my head, as you were saying that. So, ah…
Dan: Define goals, though, what do you mean by goals though.
Tony: Yeah, like let’s say you didn’t have plans, goals, ambitions. Say you’re a bit…ah…just kind of like…Let’s say you were more reactive. Let’s put it that way. So, let’s say every day you just think, “What should I do today?”…instead of being pro-active. Do you…
Dan: I don’t know if I can answer it the way you asked, but I think this will answer possibly…is that I didn’t want to be on camera, I didn’t want to be on stage, I didn’t want to write a book, I didn’t want to do any of those things. I mean, I’mma…I’mma introvert and I would much rather just be hanging out with my kids and having a good time and just kinda giving advice to people here and there, but it’s a mission, it’s my purpose. It’s, you know, it’s…it’s being called to and if I don’t do it, I’m gonna be freaking unhappy. And, how do I know that? Because I was unhappy until I started doin’ it. Um…I wanted to be successful, so I knew I wanted to do that…so the success part…ah was me overcoming my fears. I had to overcome a lot of fears, which one of ‘em was speaking on stage…which I was deathly afraid of, you know. And…ah, but I forced myself to get up there and do it and, still, today I am fearful of doing that. But, I let that fear drive me to doing it…to leaping first and let the net appear, to trusting in the multiverse and…and forcing myself to just do it. Just like I do the cold plunge, where doing the cold plunge actually preps me for everything I do in life. Because, today, I stood in front of the cold plunge…because my wife couldn’t do it because when you’re menstruating, you’re not allow…you’re not supposed to go into the cold tub.
Tony: Mmm hmm.
Dan: Or, do the cold water therapy. So, she wasn’t doing it. So, I had every excuse not to do it today. Where I stood outside and was going, “Man, I don’t wanna do this, man, I don’t wanna do this.” But, I said screw it, I hit the timer and I just got myself in there, dunked my head under water, laid back…in there for five minutes. And, it just forced me to…to do it, to take action, to leap first, without even thinking, and that’s…and that’s how I do things in my life and in my business. I just make the call…just make the call and deal with it after, you know. Get on stage and deal with it after. I do prep, yes. I write notes, but I won’t like practice anything…because I can’t practice. It just doesn’t work for me. Just give me my notes, I’ll get up there and I’ll do it. [Chuckles]
Tony: Fair enough. Um…I’m very, very pleased to hear that actually ‘cause I…I’m very fly by the seat of my pants, with minimal preparation. But, I like to have…
Dan: Yeah, it might suck, but at least we did it.
Tony: …an end result in mind.
Dan: Exactly! One thing I want to bring up too, and we can circle back on that if you’d like, is, you know, the whole thing we talked about…is…is, you know, always be growing. And, you know, some people will say, “Yeah, I know man, but it’s hard. It’s just so tough, you know, the struggle does it ever stop…or anything like that?” But, this is why they call it “growing pains”. It’s not called “feeling good,” right. It’s not called, you know, like…ah…what’s the other thing…I…I think I took a note here…“pleasure,” right? So, it’s not called “growing pleasure,” right? It’s called “growing pains”. And, wh…when that plant or the grass is growing…or, that tree is growing and it’s gotta break through…it’s gotta break through the soil. You think it’s easy? It struggles, man, it pushes. It pushes for a while and then it just breaks free, right? And, that’s the same thing that you gotta do is…the struggle is real, it’s gonna happen, but you gotta keep pushing forward, no matter how tough it feels. You got, you know, no matter, like…like, for instance, we were talking about this before the call, or before this video, right. Um…and I was actually talk…I had a…I had a call with…ah…some guys that…that were at the…ah…matt last Mastermind I went to and I had to speak in front of, and I was fearful of that. And, I didn’t want to do that and I was fearful of it, but I did it…I forced myself to do it. And I…and I did my yoga practice while I was there, I had to get up a little earlier to do it, um…I did a cold shower, which is, especially ‘cause it was San Diego, was nothing like my cold plunge, it was like 64 degrees, right. Which is not my normal 50 degrees…ah…Fahrenheit, or 9 or 10 degrees Celsius. So, it was way above that. So, it sucked, but I did it. But, then, I got home and I stopped working out. That was like one thing that suffered. I got outta routine of working out…and I did that for about two-and-a-half weeks. And, today, was the first time that I worked out since that event, which was two-and-a-half weeks ago. And, it sucks, but you know what? I got back up on the horse and I’m doing it again. And, that’s fine. You know what I mean? Sometimes you’ll…you’ll…you’ll take breaks, you’ll feel down, you’ll…you’ll struggle, you’ll…you’ll get on yourself and you’ll be like, “You’re a loser, you’re not doing this, what’s wrong with you?” You might get a little depressed but, you know what? Don’t live there, you know. Just get back on there and start doing it again…and then get yourself out of it. Don’t sit there and beat yourself up for something that you can push forward through, right.
Tony: I did hear, and this kind of links up with it. I did hear a good story and, again, it was a video…this…this old rabbi dude and he was saying about how the…is it lobsters?…I think maybe it’s lobsters…they know…they shed their…they shed their kind of sk…not their skin, but their shell or something. They shed their old…I’m sure it’s lobsters…they…they shed their old shell, and…and…and then they have to go somewhere safe…um…because they are very, when they shed it, the…the new one that’s underneath is very soft. So, they’re very vulnerable for a while, but…but they…they know when it’s time to shed that old shell because they feel the pressure, they feel the discomfort of that old shell…because they’ve just outgrown it and it’s too tight, so they kinda have to wiggle out of it and then let the…what was underneath kinda harden a little bit before they venture back out and, you know, it’s…ah…it’s…I think it grows a little bit while they’re hiding or something. Um, but yeah, I, you know, that was probably the worst delivery of a story ever because I’ve not even got across the point, I think. I…
Dan: I thought it was great! That was a great visual. No, but…you…you gotta trust that taking yourself outta the safe space and the shell, that you’re gonna be ok. That, you know, that pressure to grow…
Tony: [Indecipherable].
Dan: Yeah, exactly. There’s another example that…that actually reminded me of another example. Two examples.
Tony: Maybe we could link to that one…Maybe we could link to that one, Dan, here, or something.
Dan: It reminds me of another example of, I always say, the caterpillar to the butterfly…even though it’s the butterfly lays eggs on a plant, I actually took notes so I remember, so it’s…ah…you know they have eggs…larva, right? And, then it comes out, the cocoon is the chrysalis, or however you pronounce that, right? Chrysalis. And, it becomes liquid, so the caterpillar wraps itself in this, we’ll call it the “cocoon,” but that’s not what it’s called, right. And, it goes in this chrysalis and it liquefies and it feels like it’s drowning, right? It’s drowning in liquid…in its own liquid that it’s making and it feels like it’s dying. I mean, wouldn’t you feel like you’re dying if this liquid is coming in your…bringing in this liquid? And then, all of a sudden, you know, you come out fifte…it’s actually fifteen days later, you come out as a butterfly, right? Completely, but you have to trust…you have to trust that you’re gonna come through it with all this pressure and this liquid inside. And, the other example I use is a tadpole, right. A tadpole is in the water, it’s under…it breathes underwater, in the water, right?
Tony: Mmh mmh.
Dan: Then, what happens? It…it hatches out of an egg and then it starts to develop…ah, you know, gills and then, you know, and then it starts to develop and then the limbs come out. And, then, what does it do? It comes out of the water…and it’s gotta trust that it can now breathe air, right? I mean, can you imagine that? That’s the same thing you have to do…is, by always growing and always be learning is to be patient with yourself and to trust…because in…ah…in Kundalini, which is in Sanskrit, which is the…the ancient, you know, language that the yogis, you know, had developed, or, you know, used. And, 15,000 words in the U.S. language is actually derived from Sanskrit. Ah…and all these words have meanings and when they say, “patience”…“patience” actually means “to know the outcome.” And, think about that for a second. “To know the outcome” = to have patience. Because we always were…I mean “patience” to us was just be patient…just, you know, relax…relax, someday it’ll happen.
Tony: Just wait.
Dan: But, imagine if somebody said, “I…this is gonna happen, no matter what…so be patient…because I know for a fact that I’m gonna show you a glimpse of the future that this is gonna happen in four years, or less.”
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: You would have a lot more confidence.
Tony: If you knew the outcome, for certain, you would be patient, wouldn’t you? Dan: Yeah.
Tony: I guess it’s the uncertainty, the…ah…the not knowing.
Dan: Yeah.
Tony: …that…ah…makes the patience difficult. In fact, this…this..is…this swings around to a topic that I was gonna bring up…ah…from the…the musical “Hamilton”. There’s…there’s Aaron Burr. Obviously, it’s based on real people. Alexander Hamilton and…ah…George Washington and…ah…Thomas Jefferson and Aaron Burr.
Dan: Mmm hmm.
Tony: But, Aaron Burr…his whole thing is I’m gonna wait for it. I’m the one thing in life I can control, you know, and I…I’ll wait. I’ll take my time. “I’m not falling behind or running late, I’m not standing still. I’m lying in wait.” That’s his, one of his lines. Whereas, Alexander Hamilton…he’s just go Hell for leather for it. ‘Cause he has nothing to lose. So, ah.
Dan: Nice.
Tony: …if you knew the outcome, you could wait for it.
Dan: Yeah.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: Yeah, I will tell you, man, I…I made…I like to call ‘em…I like to call ‘em “reality boards”. I had made a “reality board,” instead of a “dream board” because I made…I want to make things a reality, right. Which is, again, knowing the outcome. And, I would put all these things I wanted. I’d put a yacht, a helicopter, a, you know, a private plane and, you know, and $10,000 in my bank account at all times. And, you know, and to have lunch with…ah…Tony Robbins. And…ah…to have a Mercedes Benz and all these other things that I wanted. I wanted to have a bigger home, and all these things, and have kids, right. And have three kids. And, on that list…and, again, I had a lot more stuff on there…but, I would say a hundred percent of the things that I put on that board, on that reality board, came true. That I wanted to come true…because my goals and my…and my dreams had changed as time went on…because I evolved and other things became important to me. So, no longer did I need the Lamborghini, right? Instead, I was happy with just a Mercedes, right. No longer did I need a helicopter or, you know, a private jet, or anything like that, because I don’t want to travel. So, I didn’t want to do that anymore, you know. And, I…I didn’t want to do that. So, I didn’t need that stuff. But, the big home, I wanted the big home. So, I got the big house. I got the nice cars, you know. We got the nice life. I got all the stuff that I want, you know, and that I need. You know what I mean? I can buy all the cameras that I want. I can test out different things and have fun and I don’t have to worry about those things. So, I…I, you know, have patience because it is gonna come…it is gonna come for you. Right?
Tony: If…if you do the work.
Dan: If you do the work and just keep pushing forward.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: You have to keep pushing forward. This is not the secret where you just get to make a list and then sit back, lock the door, put on earplugs and never leave your house, don’t answer your door, don’t answer your phone. Not.how.it’s.gonna.work.
Tony: I did…I did…I can’t even remember where I heard it now…ah, but they say that it…I think it’s the Quakers say as you pray, move your feet. So, they’re saying, you know…yes, pray for it. Absolutely. But, you’ve got to walk in the direction of the thing that you want. You’ve gotta make motion in the direction of the outcome.
Dan: Exactly. Tony: You…you gotta do it. You’ve gotta do the work.
Dan: Oh, totally forgot, man, our ADD kicked in. You asked me about my books..and I looked up. The most recent one I’ve listened to was…ah…was the Kevin Hart “I Can’t Make This Up: Life Lessons”.
Tony: Aw…Wow. Is it good? Dan: Yeah, I liked it. Yeah, my wife liked it as well.
Tony: He reads it, yeah?
Dan: Yeah, he reads it and it was funny because he wasn’t “reading” reading. He was like kinda like going a little off-script and a little on there. So, it was good. I definitely listened, but I have like…probably like a hundred. Yeah, I have like a hundred. Lemme…lemme scroll down there. Look, can you see? [Chuckles].
Tony: Good grief.
Dan: I haven’t listened to any of those. [Wild Chuckles].
Tony: Oh, and I saw at the top “Influence,” Robert Cialdini there. At the very top.
Dan: Yeah. I have listened to some of these and some of these are good. But, probably in a year or two years ago, was the last time I listened to some of the other ones. Ah…so, I don’t know what to really give you guys. [Chuckles].
Tony: One I listened to not long ago was…um…”The Chimp Paradox”…‘cause I hadn’t…I hadn’t listened to that. Ah, yeah, or read that. And, I found that interesting. I found that very, very interesting. I’d definitely recommend “The Chimp Paradox”. Have you read that?
Dan: I have not. Remind me that…I’ll download that one. I…”How to Win Friends and Influence People”…one of my favorites. An oldie, but a goodie. I’ve actually listened to that so many times. Um, but I got it in my audible now too, so I can listen to it again. Ah…there was also…ah…what was it called? “The Five Love Languages” and he has a couple of versions of that for like kids and also for like work, as well. That’s pretty brilliant, as well. I don’t know if you’ve heard of that one.
Tony: No…no.
Dan: Yeah, that’s a good one…“The Five Love Languages”. Because…ah…Tony actually bases a lot of the stuff he teaches off of that, as well, that…um…when, whether it’s relationships, business, ah kids, um…they have like a different way of…every…each person has a different way of what they perceive…they prefer their communication to be in, you know. Like, some people it’s “show me, show me that you love me, or care about me, or that you appreciate me.” Some people are “do things for me, do something nice for me.” If…if you…some people are touchy feely, they’re like, you know, “give me a hug, or a kiss, if you love me.” So, it kinda touches on all those. And, learning what people’s languages are and then being able to give it to them the way that they prefer. Because some people be like, “I do all these things for you” and they’re like, “Yeah, but if you loved me, you would tell me you loved me.” And, then, everybody’s fighting on, “well, read…listen to my language”. And, they’re like, “No, but listen to my language.” But, they don’t realize that they’re speaking two different languages and they can’t understand why each other doesn’t understand that they are doing something for them. And, for myself, actually…
Tony: I can’t help but think that that’s very similar to the…ah…to the learning modalities then.
Dan: Yes.
Tony: Like, if I’m auditory and I prefer to learn by hearing…maybe I prefer to hear. I mean, I don’t know if they’re directly linked, but yeah, yeah…so, it’s very similar. Sorry. Carry on.
Dan: Yeah. No, for…for me, I actually fluently speak all five love languages. So, it’s great for me, but…ah…in…in our relationship, with me and my wife, Siri Shakti, ah…for several years, it was very challenging. [Chuckles]. Because I would actually communicate in her love language but, because I wanted to be…I knew I wanted both of us to be above that…um…and to be able to communicate in more than one love language…a more than one language, I would try to convert her over to a different language and she’d be like, “Noooo”. You know, what I mean, like. So, there was this conflict at first, but today we’re able to communicate in all languages…which is great.
Tony: Excellent.
Dan: Yeah.
Tony: That’s probably a good one for…ah…for a whole ‘nother episode, isn’t it?
Dan: Some people need rest after commu…getting all this information, right.
Tony: Yeah.
Dan: Now, you can go out there and act on it, right.
Tony: Big download of information. Absolutely. A big dow…so, what…what would your…what would your kind of action step from this be? What would you recommend people do?
Dan: Yeah, I would…I would probably say…I would um…hmm…what could we do? Maybe…maybe if they were to take…ah…you know, from what we…what we’ve talk…what we’ve spoke about. Ah…maybe one recognize…ah…how they learn best, whether it’s books, audio, podcasts, I mean, try a couple different out, and you know, maybe you already know what you…what you learn best. But, maybe you haven’t tried something, so from the other things we talked about maybe try some of those other ones. And…and, you know, maybe two or three different mediums works for you. Maybe only one or two works for you, but zero in on what that is for you. Um…and, then, I’d also say, what are some of the things that…um…maybe you’ve given up on, that, you know, that some of your dreams that you want to make a reality. And, maybe it’s time to revive some of those things that you want to accomplish in your life…and maybe write down the top ten things that you want to accomplish in your life. And, from those ten, highlight or put a little star next to the first three that you’re gonna take action on. And, then, choose the number one…put a little number one next to one of those three that you starred. And, choose the first one, then take immediate action on that. Um…maybe you wanted to write a book, ah…maybe you wanted to start a Youtube channel. Well, what’s the first thing you can do to take action on it, right now? And, maybe, that’s calling somebody that you know has a successful Youtube channel, maybe it’s buying a book on doing that, maybe it’s…ah…watching some Youtube videos on that, or emailing your Mastermind group and saying, “Hey, who do you know that could help me with this?,” um…or joining a Facebook group…ah…because there are plenty of those Facebook groups where you can mastermind with other people that are successful in certain industries. I belong to a lot of ‘em and I know you do, as well, Tony. And, maybe, that’s the first action steps you would take. And, I would say that…that’s your…that’s your homework, your…your fun task to do.
Tony: Excellent. That’s a good one. I…I do like the idea of masterminding with people in groups and, I guess, if you’re watching this, um…then that definitely qualifies you to join our RockStar Entrepreneur Facebook group, if you’re not already in it. So, ah…head on over to Facebook, just search “RockStar Entrepreneur”. You will find us there…and…ah…in fact, see Dan’s T-shirt there? That’s the logo you need to look for. There it is, that’s the one. So, have a look for that and come and join us. Introduce yourself and…um…that’s a great place to get started to…to just ask…introduce yourself and just say, “Hey, this is what I want to achieve”. And, just…just maybe, that can be your first step to…to helping you on that journey. And…ah…yeah, absolutely agree with the…with the trying different…different…ah…different ways of learning…different modes, or modalities, of learning. And, I think always be learning what, you know, always be closing, if you’ve seen…ah, oh damn it, what is that movie called?
Dan: “Glengarry Glen Ross”.
Tony: “Glengarry Glen Ross”.
Dan: Horrible movie, but great parts.
Tony: Yeah, that’s it. Do you know…I don’t think I’ve even seen it. I’ve seen all the clips that are worth seeing, I think. Ah, but always be closing, always be learning. I think that’s a good takeaway from this.
Dan: I always like…I always like…ah…wha…wha…Dory? I always like…ah… “just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep learning, just keep growing, just keep selling.”
Tony: Oh yes. Well, I…I think that wraps us up for the day. So, ah…so…you…you guys, you know what you need to be doing, you’ve got your homework, you’ve got your little task there to do…just to keep growing, keep moving, always be moving forward. Um…so…ah…Dan? Any closing words from you?
Dan: All right. Well, be a RockStar in your life, make the world your stage!
Tony: And as I like to say, don’t stop believing. Thanks for watching.
Also, comment below your Aha-Moments and any requests on what you want us to discuss on the next episode of The RockStar Entrepreneur Experience.
Be a RockStar In Your Life, And Make The World Your Stage!
Dan “RockStar In Life” Ardebili & Tony “Don’t Stop Believing” Finbarr-Smith
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Dr. Dan Ardebili is the co-founder of The 2RockStars, He is also a Internationally Renowned Best Selling Author, Reality TV Producer, Relationship & Life-Style Expert and Coach (teaching the world to live life with style!), Radio Show Host, and much more.
